Here we are, in the internet sarcarm’s  lion’s den
Splinter is a new mag, so, why don’t try too hard,
like the new kid at the skatepark?
You know,
the one that is dressed wrong, with some flame griptape and shoes
with lights on the sole?
The one that if he’s lucky,
he’s gonna be Emile Laurent, or, he’s  gonna be the one that everybody laughts at (on the back obviously),
but somehow he keep skateboarding and enjoy it
Who’s the winner?
Nyjah obviously.
Does we have to talk about Fred Gall or pants crisies?
Well, actually we talk about it pretty much everyday,
‘cause shoes/pants crisies are the best discussion at the curb spot,
or rail spot, or bowl spot (put whatever spot you and your friends were yesterday).

We can try to act cool, like we don’t care, early 2000 are comin’ back in fashion,
so it’s cool to act cool, but actually we care a lot and
we’re kinda ready for an Emo Era comeback.
Or we don’t care.
Or we can talk about a Mark Guttermann part in “google name + skateboarder”
and check the name of that video.
We’re gonna do it anyway,
‘cause he was a cool cat.
Splinter is an outlet for our pretty decent and contorded minds,
and we love it so much, that we put our “cultural” references in there,
so guys like us can destroy it, simply enjoy it or make fun of it, but, hey,
we can still be friends, even if we have never been friends.

Have you read till this point?
Actually you’re better than we thought.

Something you don’t need.